IO THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER tent w ith a new Stetson hat. Has anyone noticed an officer at Division H e a d q u a rters going around barehead of late? I saw Corporal Bruhn, our canteen stew ard, conversing w ith a Ford salesm a n yes terday. W h a t not a Pierce-Arrow, B ruhn? O p p o rtunity knocketh but once at your door. T h e re’s silence on the Picket Line, No loud noises there to-day, Everyone’s sad and solemn— One of Donnelly’s pets has passed away. It is rum o red our old friend Poncho Villa, the notorious Mexican bandit, is w earing the sam e sh irt we saw him in last sum m er while on the Border. Villa hasn’t a thing on our Company Clerk, Corporal W allace, who h a s n ’t changed his shirt since Balboa was Top-Sergeant in J Battery. Sergeant Ross of “B” B a ttery has become a wonderful horsem a n since learning th a t the horses are taken five miles to the rear of the firing line after the guns have been placed and are in action. J. Ford Lubick is kicking because the Government has the wheels of our escort wagons m ade so large. He is an expert re- j pairer of these well-known vehicles and J adm its he can use every part of the wagon but the wheels. M embers of “C” B a ttery take notice. I had- H a rry T. Ram sdell, “Jr.,” over in the woods w ith a detail to-day and I found out th a t he can’t duck falling trees as well as he can dodge work. Monday our entire regim e n t w ent over in a body back of the H o spital Building for singing lessons. I w o nder who suggested taking them near the hospital and w h a t did the surgeons think? Should we ever run out of am m u n ition while on the firing line th e r e ’s nothing to w o rry about. Just blow your pitch-pipe and start ’em up. “Red” W halen, chief of the Supply Com pany’s “K. P.’s” pulled off a new one the other day. He tried to boil w a ter in a wooden pail. He m ight have succeeded if the bottom of the pail hadn’t burned out and extinguished the fire. —Sergt. E. A. S., Supply Co. TRENCH NOTES OF CO. M, 105TH ■ INFANTRY. 1st and 2nd platoons lacked dugouts to sleep in, resulting in m any spoiled tem p ers, and num erous colds. Private Trohn, w h en ordered to cut the wood for the cooks, did so, but in the dark mistook the wood belonging to Co. K, and obligingly cut it up. Needless to say th a t P rivate Trohn is now m o st popular w ith aforesaid cooks. If you don’t believe the trenches are hard to dope out, ask Private Lepitskie. It took him one hour to find his way back to our dugout—only 50 yards away. The second platoon claims some of the m en of the 1st platoon fell off the firestep w h ile asleep, on post. In retaliation the 1st platoon claim s the observers got quite a few hats off the men of the 2nd, m aking the honors even. The big catch of the day, in observers, was made by P rivates B rust and Fidelo. They halted, arrested, and sent back to quarters, Col. Foster, of the 12th Regim ent. W hen told who their catch was, they nearly faint ed. —F. B. R., Jr. M ILITARY POLICE NEW S—COMPANY A. The M ilitary Police are fast becoming crack riders. M ajor Shanton is supervising their course in equitation and before a man can qualify to ride alone he m u st pass a stiff test under the critical eye of the Major, who insists on a high standard of horsem a n ship in his command. Corporal Tom Regan has made a good re covery from a broken collar bone sustained in a fall from a jum p ing horse. Bob Dunlop has nam ed his trick horse “Toto,” after the Hippodrom e clown. Toto’s curious taste in breakfast food is only one of the rem a rkable things about him. Jim m y Meers is a tired business man these days. He is dealing out pop and nut-bars at the M. P.’s new canteen. Carl Serling has given up competing w ith F ritz K reisler for a while to assist in running the em porium. Sam Banter was once in the United States Navy. Sam sometimes forgets th a t he is not still a bounding tar. The other day an officer called to Sam, “W h ere is B lauvelt?” Sam clicked his heels together, saluted, and replied, “Gone ashore, sir.” Company A has three men who have already seen service in the G reat W ar. Cor poral M aurice A n n o the was in the Belgian arm y, Private W ilford B. W ilkins saw serv ice w ith the A u stralian arm y at the Somme and Ypres, and P rivate Lionel M. Doherty drove a N o rton-H arjes ambulance. The men learning equitation have a num ber of ex-U. S. Cavalrymen to im itate, in cluding Corporal John Lodarinsky, form erly of the 12th Cavalry, Jack D avenport of the 12th Cavalry, Sergeant Gadlewski of the m o u n ted scouts of the U. S. M arines, and Sergeant W esten, whose m ilitary experience includes acting as orderly to General Pershing. The services of Arvid Paulson, who now sports a first-class private’s chevrons, are in great demand. Arvid was a leading Broadway juvenile actor when he enlisted. He was one of the strongest branches of “The W illow T ree,” w h en it showed on the Gay W. W. He has recited at alm o st every sort of affair from a W. O. T. U. m e et ing to a B a rbers’ Convention. He is “book ed solid” as V a riety would say. He hopes soon to play a European engagem ent, dur ing which he m ay appear before crowned heads in Berlin. His role will be th a t of an energetic M. R. Cal M cCarthy says he likes kitchen police because it feels so good w hen you’re there. Tommy Yore, w h en the horses were first issued, drew a steed th a t had hair like a St. B e rnard .dog and the build of a pickle barrel. W h en Tommy started to curry the anin al, he found th a t three owls and a cuckoo had built nests in its hair, so he turned the anim a l in and got a horse. The 11th Squad has a bulletin board on which current squad events are reported. Among the entries yesterday w ere: “Sur cingle M cllroy takes a bath. W ill recover.” “Kniffen Joses his eating irons. Excused from m ess.” “B F lat Tuba C allahan kicked in the chest by B enedict’s horse. .. H o rse lam ed for life.” “B a rry loses O. D. shirt.” (P. S.—O. D. stands for Old and Dirty.) This hum or is ascribed to Sam Murphy, the Pasaaic M ark Twain, and H oward H e rty, the Jersey bard. And Ferdy Mayer, who is corporal of this squad, gets only the regular $36 a month! Squad 2 is getting to be known as the m e eting place of Flatbush. A. O. It’s song is “W h en It’s N e sting Tim e in Flatbush.” The following are charter m em b ers of the Flatbush A. C.: H a rry Clapp, L e s ter La Mothe, Chuck Curtis, Roscoe Allen, George Arata, Bill Bradley, K e n n e th Logan, Leslie Callahan, and Ralph Bolton. Next week w a tc h for some w arm Com- , pany B news. COMPANY A, 105TH MACHINE GUN BATTALION. Richard Hess, the boy bugler of Co. A., who was kicked in the shins by a horse, has discarded his crutches and looks forw ard to the coming of a bright and shining cork leg. He has the record for putting it over on “Iodine Ike,” who is still m issing from drill and gets away w ith it. Axel W eiberg, the Swedish yordler who bane come from Sweayden an bane made en foist class private, can’t see why they pick on him. It was a case of: May the sun shine for you and the flowers grow over your grave, when Toney G iachetta put the R u sset Polish in the tom ato soup, had it not been for the rage of Algernon La Grasse, the chief striker, who gave him “the business” for w a sting the polish.