OCR Interpretation

The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, January 12, 1918, Image 10

Image and text provided by New York State Military History Museum

Persistent link: http://www.nyshistoricnewspapers.org/lccn/sn87030234/1918-01-12/ed-1/seq-10/

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8 THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER CAMP TOM EDISONS, FRONT AND ■ CENTER. Try To Invent a Rifle That W on't Collect D irt, or a Dirt-Proof Mule. We have our own, personal ideas about in ­ ventions th a t would revolutionize even mod­ ern w a rfare w ith all its innovations. We don’t guarantee th a t any of these sug­ gestions, properly patented, caveated and copyrighted, will fetch a commission in the 27th Division nor even cause Colonel V an­ derbilt to lose a m inute of his nightly six hours sleep. B u t we do claim th a t grateful soldiers will erect to you a m o n u m ent and strew it w ith wild flowers every M emorial Day. W hy not some good substitute for wood— som ething w ith w h ich to stock the old Sib­ ley—som ething you don’t have to saw nor hew but can buy a t the canteen for two or three cents a bushel, guaranteed to keep the ten t warm for forty-eight hours? Or— Some serviceable substitute for trenches; A perpetual pass over r e t r e a t a n d reveille; A rifle th a t will not collect dirt; An inspectionless S a tu r d a y ; O. D.’s th a t fit; A horse or a mule th a t doesn’t need clean­ ing; A. P. and N. train th a t adheres to schedule. . Rum o rless shower baths; Feet th a t will not get cold. Any of these things will serve to endear the inventor to the h e a r t of the soldier. It is likely th a t we have m erely glossed over the possibilities. We m ight add som ething about a sensa­ tional discovery th a t will perm it one to sleep after first call and on through until eight o’clock w ithout the platoon leader know ing the difference. Or we m ight suggest some­ thing about an autom a tic kitchen th a t re­ quires no details or a top sergeant w ith a h e a r t of m ail th a t arrives on tim e or some­ thing like that. B u t dope it out for yourself. If you have an honest-to-gawsh idea th a t will help the 27th Division win the w ar, go to it. If you have a scheme th a t will m ake it easier for the individual soldier of the 27th to beat the H u n to the punch, let H e a d q u a rters know about it. Keep th is in mind. The chap th a t thought of m e tal heel plates for shoes and patented his idea m ade a m illion dollars out of it. And a lot of guys sneered afterw a rds, say­ ing th a t they often thought of the same thing but—well the chap who put it on the m a rket got the million. W. A. D. NUT NUMBER COMING! On January 26th the N u t N u m b er of the Gas Attack will appear—January 26th. Don’t forget the date. I NO THEFTS WANTED IN THE GAS I I ATTACK. 1 • • i : : • .— —— • f • f The editors of The Gas A ttack want f i only original contributions. They want | | no poems that have appeared elsewhere, | I in part or in whole. They want no ? f prose sketches that have ever been pub- f i lished anywhere else. They want what | 4 they print to be the first appearance of | • legitimate children of the brains of the f f authors. ? | If we print anything that has been 4 | published by a contemporary we want ? f that fact announced with the contribu- f • • I tion. Some of our contributors ap- | 4 parently don't understand this. One | ? fellow got away with some stuff— a little, ? f not much, including “First Aid for Engi- f | neers,” published in the last number. f 4 But we're wise to him now. We found 4 | the book he got it out of, so he needn't I f send us anything more— unless it comes f | fresh from his own brain. Fresh is • fright! f f f ? f. BILL WOULD PERMIT AMERICANS TO ACCEPT FOREIGN DECORATIONS. Among the first bills introduced at the present session of Congress was a measure by Congressman Linthicum, of M aryland, “ To perm it any soldier, sailor, marine or other person engaged in the service of the United States during the present war to accept dec­ orations for valor from any of the nations allied w ith the U n ited States in the prosecu­ tion of said war. ’ ’ Passage of this bill, which seems practi­ cally assured, would perm it the wearing of war crosses recently bestowed upon twelve American officers and enlisted men by French government and the acceptance of similar decorations by the families of Corporal James D. Gresham and Privates Merle D. H ay and Thomas F. Enright, the first U nited States soldiers to die in battle “ Over T h e re.\ The fifteen war crosses were presented several weeks ago, but the recipients were informed th a t they could not wear them until authori­ ty was granted by Congress. The Linthicum bill would perm it the ac­ ceptance of decorations from Great B ritain and Italy as well as France, and also provides that diplomats be allowed to receive decora­ tions. Captain G raham Youngs has returned to his post as Division Intelligence Officer after a ten-day leave of absence. We came South for the Winter—and we got it! TO PUNISH JITNEY HIGHWAYMEN Public Cars That Are Unfair Can’t Come Into Camp. Some of the autom o bile men operating cars between the city and the camp have had their licenses to enter camp revoked by the m ilitary police. M ajor T. H a rry Shanton, comm anding the police, said yesterday th a t this had been done because the autom o bile men have not been treating the soldiers squarely. “Many of them have ignored all the tra f ­ fic regulations,” he said. “In addition, some of them would ply betw een the city and the camp during the day and early evening,, carrying full loads each trip, and then re­ fuse to carry soldiers back to camp at night, as this would m ean th a t they would have to return w ithout a load. They were w illing to run as long as they could make big money, but they did not seem to think they w ere under any obligations to the men who had patronized them in coming into the city and would leave them to get back to camp as best they could. T h is is w rong of course, and we do not w a n t men of this kind to haul soldiers a t all.” Major Shanton said he had been trying to get the automobile owners to form an association and agree upon rules and regu­ lations th a t would be fair to them and the soldiers, but so far he had not been able to get this done. “It seems to be every man for him self,” he said, “and soldiers have been imposed upon by some of the automo- bilists. T h e re is no organization, ju s t every (m a n for him self. We w a n t to give fair tre a t­ ment, and we w a n t to receive it. I am still hoping the autom o b ilists will get together and rem edy the situation as they can do if they will try. A few unfair men among them w ill spoil the whole game, and h u r t the legitim a te autom o b ilists and the soldiers as well.” Licenses to enter camp may be obtained from M ajor Shanton or Capt. Davis, of the m ilitary police, a t the city hall. IN THE TROPICAL TRENCHES. Maj. W. L. H allahan, of the 102nd Field Signal B attalion, has confirmed the rum o r th a t one of his men was overcome by sun­ stroke while doing trench duty last week. He refused to divulge statistics on the num b er of men suffering from mosquito bites, prickly heat, and thirst, however. She was much interested in prison reform and was visiting a large prison one day. “ D o n ’t any of your friends come to see you on visiting-days?\ she asked of a big burly ruffian. “ N o ’m ,\ responded the ex-burglar; ‘‘they­ ’re all here w it ’ me. ’ ’

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