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Image provided by: New York State Military History Museum
6 THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER MABLE REPLIES. AN ANSWER TO ONE OF BILL’S LETTERS. My Hereo Bill: 1 am so happy. 1 cried w h en I read yon was a Orficer. Gee, but it m u st feel good. I am going to call you my Sw e e t Caporal now because 1 know th a t is w h a t you said you are. I often w ondered w h a t those signs w ith th e pretty women m e a n t w h e n they said: “A sk Bad. H e know s.” And I did, and he told me all .about it. You know Pop w as a O rficer in the I. Y. before they busted up. H e was going to join the 69th, but he had fa t feet, th e cap tain said. But Pop said the captain was jealous of him and was afraid he would get Ms job. Pop alw ays tells the boys down a t D inty M oore’s place about it. But I am more w o rried now, because now th a t you are a orficer and ride a horse 1 suppose you’ll get careless and be hurt. I forgot to tell you. Pop was a orficer in the Irish Volun teers, but he couldn’t be a Home Guard now. T h a t’s funny because he was a Lance Cor poral orficer in the Irish V o lunteers. W e was over to the ten-cent store shop ping last night, and we got a lot of C h rist m as stuff. I was sorry about your fountain pen th a t got froze in the Sibley stove and I got you a new one. I couldn't get no elec tric flash-light so I am sending you some safety m a tches because them new tM ngs get broke so easy. I am sending a lot of candy, too, and some of those A sk Dad Sweets, because they are for you orficers, and it says on the box about you caporals. I didn’t know w h a t you m e a n t about the stocking for your head so I w e n t over to the Red Cross place and I asked the feller there. And he said, “Oh! you m e a n the Hel- m it.” And I said: “W h a t do you mean, Hel- m it?” So he says, “The H elm it, the hat.” So I got m ad and w e n t home. But I knew you would need a h a t so I am sending you the W h ite Linen h a t th a t Pop w o re at D inty Moore’s B eer R a c k e t last sum m er. I shivered w h en I read w h a t you said about the Book in M inor Tackticks. B u t I didn’t know th a t you had it all w o rked out so scientific about moving the bodies around. I suppose by th a t you are going into the U n d e rtakers Regim ent. I know you ain’t going to be killed. W ill you please w rite my address on all the things you got so w hen they find you out there, they can send them to me. I am so glad you are getting so edji- cated. You are learning all them things like M iner’s T ickTacks and Camoofiage. It m u st be like going to college. M ommer was sorry to hear about those Gas A ttacks you have down there, so she is sending som e of th a t Indigestion Stuff th a t she gives Pop. She says to tell you not to eat so much onions, and m aybe th a t will help. I was all imbibed w ith w h a t you say about th a t w o n d erful camoofiage and how you do it. It m u s t be nice to be camoofiaged all up like a tree. I can picture you. Because you m u s t look like a C h ristm as tree, be cause I rem e m b e r how you was all lit up last New Y e a r’s Day at our house. It is so cold and snowy here. I alw ays think how lucky you are down there in the Sunny South. How I w ish I was there, too. But I know w h en you come back we can be m a rried in the w inter and have our honey moon in the sam e place w h ere the camp is in Spartanburg. It will be so rom a n tik. I ju s t love those rom a n tik things. T h a t’s me all over again. One of the guys from the supply company in your regim e n t is home for the New Y e a r’s furlough. H e has a wheel on his arm now, and he says th a t he is a pilot on a airship now. Gee, I didn’t think th a t boob would get up in the arm y so quick. But I bet he’s got a pull som ewhere, because he says the Sky Pilot got him the job. I asked him who th a t was and he says Holy Joe, and then he laffs like mad. He tries to be funny like you, but he is about as funny as th a t old mop th a t’s been hanging out of M ulvaney’s back window for the last two years. All the folks send lots of love, so does mommer, and say, kid, you know me. . I send thousands of miles of love, and a kiss for every Flivver on the road. Yours until dad stays sober, MABLE. P e r George Lounsbury, Co. K, 71st N. Y. Inf. THE LATEST FASHION. The new e st fashion in camp is to keep a file of th e Gas Attack. Everybody is doing it. So don’t m iss th e next num b er, the great N u t Number. Out January 26th. CAMP COMEDIANS. T h e re’s a lot of stage talent loose in Camp W a d sw o rth. All you have to do is blow a w h istle and half a dozen end-men, two or th r e e vaudevillians, and a H a m let or two come running out, m a k ing up as they come. W e have enough actors to supply K and E, and an assortm e n t of plain and fancy turns th a t would fill a couple of columns in variety. One of the best acts th a t has ever an sw e red an encore around these cotton fields is the trio composed of 106th Infantry men, Connie O’Donnell of Co. H, Gus S tickler of Co. C a n d Billy T ravers of Co. G. Connie is the 27th Division A1 Jolson. H e was w ith George Prim rose’s M instrels, and he does a black-face rigm a role, and some big-time buck and wing work. Stickler and T ravers also contribute some live-w ire comedy. T h ese boys have been appearing at various Y. M. C. A. units and have scored enough hits to m ake Ty Cobb jealous. HE DIED GAME. News has been received in this country of the death of Bugler M arion F. Stoddard, of Co. F, 18th Infantry, A m e rican Expedi tionary Force, som ew h ere in France. B u g ler Stoddard, whose home was in Sil ver Springs, N. Y., was at the border w ith the old Third New York Infantry. He was accidentally shot by a fellow soldier while on guard. His com p any com m a n d er w rote to the dead soldier’s m o ther th a t Bugler Stoddard displayed w o n d erful gam eness in the face of death. A lthough the .45 bullet had to m a hole in his lung, he joked w ith the doc tors, saying he w as sorry th a t the bullet couldn’t have been used to finish a Boche.