THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER 10 THE BALLAD OF MY DEPARTED MOUSTACHE. I had a little m o u stache once, No longer than your arm , I guarded it m ost carefully To keep it safe from harm . I combed it and I brushed it, And I curled it nice and tight, And I tied it to the bed-post W hen I w ent to bed at night. I powdered it and braided it And trim m ed it w ith my sh e a r s ; I wrapped it w ith a yellow string And hung it around my ears. It flourished most fam o usly; It never ceased to grow. The people came to see, and said, ’Twas better than a show ! One W inter’s night I w e n t to bed ’N eath blankets three or four. My m o ustache hung out o’er the bunk, And down upon the floor. W h en reveille sent out its call Upon the m o rning air, I woke to find my m o u stache bold, W as frozen, every hair! I thaw ed it out most carefully, W ith alcohol I tried, To restore my stricken moustache, But it sickened, drooped and died. I took my shears and cut it off, And solemnly I swore, I never would attem p t to raise A moustache, any more. $ * $ $ H« Hs * The m o ral of this story is: Don’t decorate your mouth. You can not raise a m o u stache W hen you’re cam p ing in the South. ' A. P. SMITH, Base Hospital. THE NAVY GIRLS ENTERTA IN AND ARE ENTERTAINED. The Navy Girls— (Oh, why don’t we join the Navy, if they are like that?)'—held forth in the Liberty T e n t the week of Ja n uary 6-13, and captivated many a khaki- clad heart. They have a charm ing m u sical act. A party was given in their honor by Capt. M orton Stockbridge, of the 53d Pioneer In fantry, in “Shanley’s,” which is the pet nam e of the old 47th Mess Hall. The Navy girls present w ere K a thryn Hodge Geis, Inez Smith, H e len Stein, M arjorie W e b ster, M ildred Chadwick, Corrine Schroeder and Lucille Schroeder. O ther guests w ere M ajors Reagan, M uran and Corwin, Captains Chase, W ilson, Clark, L ieutenants Friz el and Loeser and M essrs. H arold J. Geis, W illard Mof fett and E. B. Schum aker. Miss B razil—“Oh, see the aviators fly!” P rivate Pecan—“They’ll do it every time, too.” FIVE ENLISTED MEN WIN COM MISSIONS, j Five enlisted men in Camp W adsw o rth I have won commissions as the result of an exam ination held some tim e ago. Sergt. M ajor A rthur W. Nelson, 1st N. Y. Infantry, has been appointed second lieu tenant, as the result of a recent exam ina tion, and is assigned to the 1st Pioneer In fantry. Private Gordon V. Parker, 102d T rains and M ilitary Police, has been appointed second lieutenant as the result of a recent exam ination, and is assigned to his old or ganization. P rivate Raymond McLeer, H e a d q u a rters Company, 104th M achine Gun B a ttalion, has been appointed second lieutenant as the re sult of a recent exam ination, and is assigned to th a t battalion. Sergt. H arold L. Downey, 105th Machine Gun B a ttalion, has been appointed second lieutenant, as the result of a recent exami nation, and is assigned to th a t battalion. Sergt. George M atthews, Jr., Company B, 105th Machine Gun B a ttalion, is appointed second lieutenant, as the result of a recent exam ination, and assigned to th a t battalion. M ajor Mitchell Now. Ex-M ayor Mitchell, form erly mayor of New York, has been offered and has accepted a commission of m ajor in the aviation corps. He will probably go to an aviation school at San Diego. COUNTRY BOYS NOT PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO CITY COUSINS. The Provost M arshal G eneral’s office authorizes the following: The common belief th a t the average of physical soundness is higher am ong coun try boys than among the city bred is not supported by the records of the selective draft. Tests Made in Ten States. For the purpose of comparison, selection was made of a typical set of cities of 40,- 000 to 500,000 population, w ith no large im m igrant element, and distributed over ten different States (Alabama, A rkansas, Cali fornia, Colorado, K ansas, M ontana, N ebras ka, New York, and South C a rolina), and a corresponding set of counties of the sam e total size located in the sam e States and containing no city of 30,000 population. The total num b er of registrants in the two sets of areas was 315,000. Results of Comparison. The comparison resulted as follows: Of 35,017 registrants in urban areas, 9,969 were rejected. Of 44,462 registrants in rural areas, 12,432 were rejected. In other words, 28.47 per cent, of the city hoys were rejected as against 27.96 per cent, of the country boys. It will be seen th a t the result is virtually a tie. The country lad, accustomed to hard physical labor, may be more m u scular than his city cousin, but he is not superior in the possession of the degree of physical soundness essential to his acceptance as a soldier. WHAT ATTRACTED THEM THITHER? H ere is a real squirrel story for the nut number. D u ring a storm last week a dozen squirrels invaded the bungalow-tent of Ma jor Allan Reagen and Captain George Chase of the 53d Pioneer Infantry, ate up everything in sight, and w e re only dispersed when the guard was called out. Several members of the regim e n t are now suffering from severe squirrel-bites. TO THE SIBLEY STOVE. W ere I the inventor who patented you, You never could boast of my name, I’d hope my dark secret would never get through, You w retched purveyor of flame. H. A. FULD, Co. A, M. P. TO CORNELL MEN! The Secretary of Cornell U n iversity w a n ts to get a register of all Cornell men in camp. Send your nam e and company address to L. C. Bareham , care of the Army Y. M. C. A.