THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK and RIO GRANDE RATTLER i i SOME NUTS WE WILL HAVE TO CRACK. The Clown Prince and his Staff, posed specially for the Gas Attack. They are w aring the famous uniform of the Bonehead Hussars. Reading from left to right they are Count Meout, His Imperial Stupidity, Baron of Ideas, and Count Coco Von Nutz. Reading from right to left they are Count Coco Von Nutz, Baron of Ideas, His Imperial Stupidity and Count Meout. A N ACCOMPLISHED PAIR. A private of a well-known regim ent, who was always w a n ting leave on some excuse or other, applied at the orderly room and asked his comm anding officer if he m ight have a few days’ leave, as his wife was ill, and had sent him a letter asking him to come at once. B u t his commanding officer, getting tired of him always w a n ting leave, said: “This is strange, P rivate Cheek, as only this m o rning I received a letter from your wife saying she did not w a n t you to see her any more, so hoped I would not grant you leave.” Private Cheek—-“'Then I suppose I can’t have leave, sir?” Com m anding Officer—-“No, you can not.” Private Cheek (turns as he gets to the door)—‘'''Sir, may I complim ent you?” Commanding Officer—-“Yes, certainly; on w h a t?” P rivate Cheek—“On having twro such lovely liars in the regim ent, because I’m not m a rried at all.” TO BE OR NUT TO BE! W h en you’ve bats in your belfry th a t flut, And your comprenez-vous rope is cut, W h en th e r e ’s nobody home, In the top of your dome, Then your head’s not a head—it’s a nut. (Chorus) There are belfries whose bats are so flutty, W ith w alls built so largely of putty, W h ere the gloom is so dense, And the void so im m ense— W ell, in th a t case you’re not even n u tt y ! Note.—The above poem was sent to us by a nut from Co. B, 104th AL G. B att., whose initials are C. V. P. W e are certain he is a nut because he adm itted th a t the poem was from Anthony E u w e r’s Lim erat- omy, instead of claim ing credit for it him self. NEW CHAPLAIN HERE. Chaplain George A. Crimmon, N ational Guard, (first lieutenant) appointed from civil life, is attached to the new training depot for tem p o rary duty. We A ren’t So Badly Off, A t That. The governm e n t pays her fighters $100,- 000,000 a month. The pay of the navy per m o n th is $17,000,000. No nation pays the soldiers as liberally as does our governm ent and Canada. Our governm ent furnishes the m o st liberal insurance plan th a t has ever been offered. No private company has ever offered rates lower than eight tim es the cost of w a r insurance issued to our sol diers and sailors. Carolina W eather in Prance. F rance is experiencing a severe W inter. R ecently a severe blizzard covered the W est ern front and nearly stopped all m ilitary activities. Besides the snow storm the roads have been so icy th a t transportation was greatly hindered.