OCR Interpretation

The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, January 26, 1918, Image 14

Image and text provided by New York State Military History Museum

Persistent link: http://www.nyshistoricnewspapers.org/lccn/sn87030234/1918-01-26/ed-1/seq-14/

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12 THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER “W h a t are you in civil life?” “Oh, I’m a public accountant!” “ I see. You make your living by the numbers.” 106TH ARTILLERY. Corp. B ruehn and his helpers in the can­ teen are still living up to th e ir m otto *. “The cash register shall not ring tonight.” Chaplain Fornes has got a new Ford. His chauffeur, P a t Flynn, has succeeded in ru n ­ ning it ten feet on two different occasions. Sergeant M ajor Pagan lost 23 cents in a penny ante gam e the other night and has not been seen since. How will the band get along w ithout L a rry B inkhardt? And the audience an­ sw ers “Fine.” —H. H. D. Freight Jam Broken. During the past week the great freight jam has been broken and m o st of the cars are on their way. There were over 41,000 cars of freight congested at the seaboard ports. These had to be em ptied and moved. Congested centers throughout the country had to be cleared. As a result m ore than half a m illion cars have been set in motion. Liberty Motor Best. The Liberty m otor has proven itself to be the best m otor made. It possesses over 400 horse power and w ill tu r n the propel­ ler 1,600 tim es per m inute. It weighs 800 pounds and can be used on any type of a ir ­ plane. Europe will ask for m any of them. THE NUT WHO BELIEVED EVERY RUMOR. I. I’m in the “cuckoo” w ard a t last; I’m over at the “Base,” I’m nutty as a squirrel and a sm ile is on my face, The m any reasons th a t I’m bugs, although I have no wife, To pester me, yet I have had its equal, “Army Life.” I left the lights of old Broadway for Sunny- South, I thought W here you could catch the sunbeams, but a cold was all I caught. I learned th a t Spartanburg was dry, which is an aw ful state For any city to be in, but I know more of late. II. I’ve been here through the W inter, and I’m w illing now to bet, T h a t you will all agree w ith me th a t Spar­ tanburg is wet. And when the w e a ther grew quite cold is when I learned to cuss; They prom ised stoves b u t all they brought were Sibleys ’round to us, A n o ther thing th a t helped to put me w h ere I am to-day, Is building beautiful canteen, then taking all our pay, I believed m o st every rum o r, but my head was m ade of bone, I m ade some up and got them mixed, and then believed my own. III. I then believed the rum o r th a t top sergeants were no more* And thought the clerks took canteen checks, down town a t any store. I also saw the rifle range, this helped to drive me nuts, I saw no cigarettes and yet the fellows called them butts. I’ve often w atched the donkeys, they’re alike, both big and small, They always m a k e them selves to home ’cause all they do is stall. Well, now, I am plumb crazy and I’m over at the “Base,” But, looney as I am, the K a iser ought to have my place. — C. P. W. Co. G, 105th U. S. Inf. A JEST FROM CO. Gr, 105TH INFANTRY. The following was sent in from Company “G” of the 105th Inf. . One of the officers had a colored maid who seem ed to be satis­ fied w ith her position, and was apparently well pleased w ith her employers. One day she approached her m istress, saying she “was ’bout to leave.” “W h y ?” she was asked. “’Cause,” she replied, “Ah can’t stan ’ being drum m ed to bed every night, and: den shot out of it in the m o rning.”

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