THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER 13 South Carolina—As We Expected It and As We Found It BREAKING THE HEART OF A COOTIE. Company G, 53rd Pioneers, Has a New Way to Kill ’Em Off. “One of our first endeavors,” w rite the non-coms of Co. G, 53rd Pioneers, “will be to contribute articles to The Gas Attack, of w hich we think highly.” And Co. G, which was form erly Co. G, of the 47th N. Y. Infan try, m akes its first endeavor w ith an account th a t has to do w ith cooties, those inelegant little creatures which now and then attach them selves to a soldier in the field. W hile in a local hardw a re store, begin the company’s notes, Sergeant M cKenna was shown a new type of m achine for sterilizing clothing, and of course elim inating “pests.” He was obviously quite unim pressed. The salesm an asked him w h e ther he did not think the machine a fine one. “Well enough, perhaps,” said he, “but Fve got a dodge of my own th a t is better.” “W h a t’s th a t?” “Well, w ear my sh ir t two days one way, then they are all inside, see? Turn it inside out, and w ear it th a t way, then they’re all outside, aren ’t they? By the tim e they’ve got inside again, I turn it back again, and so I go on and on and at last the m a rching and counterm arching breaks the little devil’s hearts and they die.” Cook Loughlin recently blew in from his furlough six days over-due, and when asked for an explanation by Capt. Stockbridge, he rem a rked: “I was ju s t taking my next fur lough on the installm e n t plan.” Sgt. Corboy has ceased to w o rry about his coming S. C. D. for flat feet, as Cook Lough lin has assured him of a job on a L. I. Duck- farm, teaching little ducks how to walk. We are afraid you’ll fail Jim , as you have to know more than a duck to teach him any thing. As the result of som ething going wrong Supply Sergeant Melloh let out some of his well known profanity, ju s t as one of the Reserve Officers, who was boarding w ith us for a short time, stepped into his tent. “Sergeant,” exclaimed the officer, “cease sw earing in this tent, especially while I’m here.” Sergeant Melloh, still up in the air, curtly replied, “Sorry, sir, hut one of us will have to step outside.” Mechanic Stelling was rejected in our re cent exam ination for a “tin ear.” We be lieve he is faking it, because Sgt. Boldt re cently w h ispered in his ear, “W a n t a loan of a dollar?” and the result was magnetic. We would like to have a little more in form ation on the reported elopem ent of Corp. Punk, our Company “Cluck,” and a fair dam selle in Spartanburg answ e ring to the nam e of Helen. P rivate Cox seem s to have the key to the situation, but being n a t urally dumb no dope can be obtained. W h a t is she doing Charlie, trying to get your allot m ent? Maybe you made her your beneficiary for th a t $10,000.00 insurance. Does anybody know where Sergeant Mc K enna goes w ith th a t m y sterious bundle every m o rning? W hile down on furlough, Corp. M urphy m et a few of the fellows recently discharged and found them enjoying the following high- salaried positions: Ex-Corp. A. C. Scherv, distributing pills for Moe Levy; Ex-Pvt. Dieneman, First-broom in H itch cock’s beanery; Ex-Pvt. “Dumb-bell” Gunn, polishing ash- cans for the D. S. €.; Ex-Pvt. “T. B.” Loehner, tending bar in Judges; Ex-Corp. Leitz, exhibiting boy-scout suits- in A. S.’s; Ex-Pvt. Skinner, posing for anim al crack ers for the Nat. Bis. Co.