OCR Interpretation

The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, January 26, 1918, Image 18

Image and text provided by New York State Military History Museum

Persistent link: http://www.nyshistoricnewspapers.org/lccn/sn87030234/1918-01-26/ed-1/seq-18/

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THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER I ’D FEEL AT HOME IF THEY’D LET ME JOIN THE ARMY. They will have to force the single men to go to war, I fear; The m arried men all w ant to go; they always volunteer, I t takes the bravest of the brave to bear the b a ttles’ brunt, T h a t’s why they always ‘find the married men out in the front. Oh, give me a gun and away PH run to fight the foreign foe, The sound of rifle fire would not alarm me, For since my wife had twins, you see, each night I lead the infantry, And P d feel at home if th e y ’d let me join the Army. Since I got m arried my wife charges everything to me, B u t P d reverse the charge, and charge the enemy, P m always on the firing line, of th a t there is no doubt; When she invites her company, P m always mustered out. Oh, give me a gun and away I hi run to fight the foreign foe, A trip up in an aeroplane would charm me, Since P v e got married, I declare, P v e always been up in the air, And I ’d feel at home if th e y ’d let me join the Army. My house is a recruiting station for her family, T h e y ’re first in war, and first in peace and first for lunch and tea; Now I treat them to everything and anything I get, B u t like a gallant Army, they have not retreated yet. Oh, give me a gun and away I ’11 run to fight the foreign foe, The life out in the trenches w o u ldn’t harm me, T h e y ’re small but I ’m used to th a t; I ’m living in a Harlem flat, And I ’d feel at home if th e y ’d let me join the Army. PRIVATE M. CHERNIN, Co, B, 105th Infantry. BATTERY F, 104TH F. A. H e re’s one Charley pulled: R. O.i “Did your m o ther ever speak to you when you w ere hom e ?” W op: “Shoe.” R. O.: “Well, she m u st have had a strong stom ach.” “M ajor” Freem a n , the m ost popular man in the 27th Division, has charge of a tent and he has the men under him bulldozed. Those under his control are: F rank Meyer, Joseph Lee, H e rm a n B arre, John M anfridi (the spaghetto juggler), W ilhelm Frederick M uller (the C anteen soldier), and Richard Seddon. Every night a R u ssian Revolution takes place in this tent, and after falling back to his last line trenches, the Major m akes a hurried re tr e a t to the Y. M. C. A. George Kenney, the Gas Mask Specialist, has his troubles checking up the men get­ ting instruction and I guess he w ishes real gas would come when the men haven’t got any m asks on, so he w o u ldn’t have to check up any more lists. By the way, “F ” B a ttery was supplied w ith canal boats, beg pardon; dogs—I mean brogans; yes, th a t ’s the nam e ; no it isn ’t, either, ah, trench shoes; they’re fine to dance in; well w e all got them the other day and rig h t afterw a rds had gas m a sk instruction. Double tim e w ith those dogs on is no cinch and w h en one fellow’s bro­ gans came down gently on another fellow’s he didn’t w a it to say “excuse m e.” T h a t’s all, th a n k you. —-S. HEADQUARTERS CO., 105TH INFANTRY. Lieut. Conant recently returned from a ten-days’ leave spent at his home in Troy, N. Y. F irst Lieut. Condert spent his leave in N. Y. City. Lieut. Gore has returned from a fifteen-day sick leave. He recuperated in Chicago. Lieut. H andy left on Saturday for his home in Troy. H e a d q u a rters Co. has been signally hon­ ored in having Capt. Clinton, the company commander, selected as infantry instructor at the Divisional Officers’ T raining School. F ir s t Lieut. Condert is in command. Lieut. George has returned from his home in New York where he was on leave of ab­ sence. Pvt. Baldwin breezed in the other day from a ten-day furlough. Stan Beattie, H e a d q u a rters’ illustrious poet and m an of letters, has been crystal gazing in Troy. Stockings Conroy won his fight in Al­ bany by out-pointing Kid Black, who sub­ stituted for Goodman. Tommy Burke, the fair haired child of the intelligence departm e n t, is on the job. Pete Shaibles’ m o u stache is not a dis­ turbance, it’s a riot. Tommy M orrisey, an Albany boy w ith the 2nd Field H o spital, was looking up old pals in the 105th last week. —.W. FIELD HOSPITAL CO. NO. 107, 102ND SANITARY TRAIN. Mess Sergeant B u rger had received inside inform a tion to the effect th a t “the H o m er Ram sdell of the C entral Hudson Line is in Dry-Dock at present being converted into a transport.” The “Shinnecoek,” (according to Burger) is also undergoing reconstruction and is having twelve-inch guns m o u n ted “fore and aft.” This fam ous vessel will un­ doubtedly act as escort to the U. S. S. Homer Ramsdell. Evidently the “Sirus” of the Iron Steam b o a t Company will enter the Govern­ m ent service in the dreadnought class. A fter listening to “K alam ity K a rl” K il­ lian’s views on the subject of our early de­ parture for “som ewhere in Europe,” his tent- m a te s are now considering the practicability of building a log cabin or a bungalow for occupation during the w inter of 1918 and 1919. Sid. Berger, who som etim e ago hung a pitcher of milk in the ice box, while on duty in the kitchen; and was aw arded the “booby prize” has relinquished his “honors” in favor of K luefer, who hung a hot griddle iron in the aforem entioned refrigerator. A fter some m o n ths of rigid training in Camp W adsw o rth, Stanw ise indulged in a “sob party” wuth his tent-m a te s, which end­ ed in his applying for a furlough. This fu r­ lough being granted he registered w ith the Southern R ailroad and stam p eded to New York City. T h e re he pulled “the blushing bride and bridegroom stunt.” He is again among us “m o rtals” and haying cast aside m a trim o n ial cares he is considering life in a lighter vein—“service abroad.” Society Notes. H aving in mind the axiom—“Misery loves company,” the fellows whose fair friends have given them, the “Good-Bye” have or­ ganized a “R a spberry Club.” The following “R a spberrians” have been accepted as charter m em b ers: Becker, Brophy, Burns, Byrnes, Cahill, Combs, Czepla, Cuddihy, F raser, H a w thorne, Roy H itzelberger, How- royd, Malcolm, Millon, M ontgomery, M ur­ phy, O’Connor, Patterson, Phillips, Pierce, Read, Smith, Schill, W illiam s, and W oska. At the initial m eeting the “Comm ittee on W ays and M eans” reported “lots of ways but no m e ans.” The topic for discussion was “Did Eve hand Adam an Apple or a R a sp­ berry?” There was little discrepancy of opinion am o n g the m e m b ers and the fol­ lowing resolution was adopted: “Resolved: T h a t the person who w itnessed the ‘p r e ­ sentation act’ in the Garden of Eden was nearsighted.” N. B. A few prospective m em b ers are aw aiting developm ents before applying for adm ission into this exclusive society. —M. NO SUCH WORD IN OUR VOCAB. Speaking of bum signs, there is one over a near-and-yet-so-far-beer em porium on E a s t Main street which reads, “The Sol­ diers’ R e treat.” W h addayam ean, “retreat?”

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