OCR Interpretation


The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, April 27, 1918, Image 18

Image and text provided by New York State Military History Museum

Persistent link: http://www.nyshistoricnewspapers.org/lccn/sn87030234/1918-04-27/ed-1/seq-18/


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GAS ATTACK News From Division Units 1ST PIONEERS HARD AT WORK. New Men Gradually Getting Into Shape for Duty ‘ ‘ Over There. ’ ’ (By Staff Correspondent) The appointed hour is close at hand. Very soon now the 1st Pioneers will be ready for overseas duty. Upon their arrival in the th e a tre of a c tive operations the aspect of the great w a r will change considerably. You will then be safe in laying your bets on an early peace. Because the Pioneers have got the K a is e r’s nanny. Listen, let us tell you a little sto r y : A few days ago a little bird flew into the headquarters of the 1st Pioneers and de­ livered the following m e ssage: “The K a iser has heard of the Pioneers, and he’s scared to death. It is reliably re­ ported th a t he began his LAST big offensive on the W e stern front several m o n ths sooner than he w anted to just because he was afraid the Pioneers would get across before he had fought his way through to Paris and the English Channel. France, England and her allies will, therefore, welcome the arrival in Europe of the 1st Pioneers to w h ich or­ ganization they w ish Godspeed and a safe journey across the big pond.” How’s that? Isn’t it a good one? Got the K a iser buffaloed even before we set our feet on French soil. The m ere report th a t we are getting into shape to come after him has set the cold chills running up and down his spine and the little Red Devils are danc­ ing a tango on his conscience. He sees de­ feat staring him in the face on every turn. D eath stalks in his wake. Failure haunts him in his dream s. And disappointm e n t greets him each m o rning and bids him Adieu each night. H e ’s on his last legs and he knows it. And he’s scared to death the Pioneers will get “across” before he has succeeded in reaching Paris and the Eng­ lish Channel. W ell, the Pioneers will get him if he don’t w atch out. Men Have Right Spirit. The men of the 1st Pioneers have the right spirit. W e have them from all over the U n ited States and representing alm o st every nationality on earth. And all of them are eager to get one crack at the K a is e r’s bean. And th a t’s all they will need. If the K a iser ever so much as shows his right ear around a tree stum p a half-mile from the Pioneers’ firing line he m ight ju s t as well hang out the crepe. Because he will be a dead one sure enough. You undoubtedly w o n der why we talk so jboastingly of our little organization. W ell, h e r e ’s the dope. The 1st Pioneers are made wp of real fighters. Among them you will find .sharpshooters from the back woods and farm s of K entucky, Alabama, Tennessee, and a dozen other equally noted regions for breeding K a iser-hunters. These men have handled a gun since they w ere knee-high to a door-step, and they have quite a reputa­ tion for killing. It’s true they have done very little m an-hunting in their lives. Yet,, a m a n who can blow the head off a fleet- footed rabbit or squirrel a t 300 yards can certainly knock the eye out a Boche at three tim e s th a t distance. U n d e r the leadership of officers from all parts of the Union and non-coms from the M etropolitan State, these back-woodsmen of the South are gradually rounding into real soldiers. And they’re ju s t itching to get into a real fight. In addition to these do m estic w a rriors we have a large num b er of foreigners, representing not only every coun try already engaged in the great war, but also many of the neutral nations. And these men, too, are anxious to get the K a is e r’s scalp. So you see the K a iser has some reason for his fever and chills. And right now we predict th a t if the Germans don’t break through the Allied defensive before the 1st Pioneers reach the battle-front they m ight just as well begin form ing a band to play their funeral m arch. Because it will be “all over but the shoutin’ ” a few w eeks after the Pioneers get into the scrap. B its of W it. Though hard at w o rk we still find tim e to sm ile and laugh at a good joke. And the jokes are plentiful. Among those m o st re­ cently heard are the follow ing: One of the officers had ju s t finished in­ structing a squad how to do “squad right about.” He had taken one m an at a tim e and showed them how to execute the move­ ment. He then told them to do it all to­ gether. They tried, but one m an was lost in the shuffle. “Now, w h a t’s your trouble?” asked the officer. “K idney trouble, sir,” replied the man. The men from one of the companies were being instructed in guard duty the other day. They had been told by one of the officers th a t their company would go on guard the following day and th a t one lieuten­ ant would be com m ander of the guard and another lieutenant would be officer of the day. W h en asked w h e ther they fully under­ stood the explanation one of them piped u p : “But who will be officer of the night.” A BOVINE HOARDER. “It doesn’t seem right,” said the man w ith worn-out shoes. “W h a t doesn’t seem right?” “T h a t a m e re cow can afford to w e a r all th a t leather.”-—W a shington Star. ORDNANCE DETACHMENT, INFANTRY RIFLE RANGE. The Detachment boasts of a corporal who can shoot w ith any man in the Division. H® is known in the old Third as 1 & S h o rtyJ 9 W a t­ erman and I am sure the name is suitable for if “ Shorty” wore spiral puttees, one would think he had the gout. Mechanic Ives who came up here in Febru­ ary to take charge of the repairing of ta r ­ gets, was given the job of cook. He did so well, the Range Officer gave him the job per­ manently. W hy not let some of the cooks and mechanics shift jobs in camp, it m ight bring satisfaction in some companies. Sergeant Talcofc who had just returned from a trip to camp, was quizzed by all of us as to the new rumors in camp. He was doing his best in answering until our stuttering me­ chanic, Carroll, asked him, “ W-w-what d-do you t-think our chances are of g-g-going oveH ” The Sergeant looked up from making his bunk and answered, 11 Our chances of go­ ing over are every bit as good as they are of our staying here.” HEADQUARTERS COMPANY, 3RD PIO­ NEER INFANTRY. Boys, the spirits are with us (no, not Black and W hite or Green river) at nightly ses­ sions that are being held in a certain tent on H eadquarters Street. So here ?s somebody *s chance to discover the location of the Titanic, Dorothy Arnold ?s whereabouts, or maybe Red Gillis, our prodigal Son. We have heard of many wild tales in the vicinity of Norumbegan, but this latest “ Fly hunting and scouting expeditions ?} is over our head. Our golden-haired drummer boy can let you in on the rest. My, but some policemen are rude. And to think that the boys should even think of moving Rollings cot. Guess they forgot th a t in his former days he was a Woburn callman, Anyway he lived up to his reputation and called them as they were never called before. We would suggest that our Blonde Cook kinda camouflage his spiral putts his next visit to town for aside from having Wm. J. Burns Pinkerton in this company we also possess an eagle-eyed “ Top” who can see about everything except the range in the H u n s1 latest 76 miler. Us girls must have our scandal and the l a t ­ est is will the good looking non-playing band Sergeant get that Sergeant M ajor 7s berth. An awful blow to the band and just at the time he was going to join the ranks of the cym­ bal players. “ Shamrock Grandma M itchell,” our ex- Sien Feiner, has become very indignant over his new John Hancock. Never mind Fred, H o n e y ” Bell will cling to you. —-“ SCOOPS.”

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