2 6 GAS ATTACK SEVERAL POST EXCHANGES Are making $15.00 to $20.00 a day extra profits by taking in F ilm D ev e l o p in g AND P r in t in g For us. We positively give all ex changes 24 hour service and a liberal commission on this work. Our Camp View Post Cards are making a big hit. Here is a new field; it will add greatly to your profits. Work it. 108 Kennedy PL The Asheville Laundries Offer Four Days Service and First Class Work Leave Your Package at The Following Places Sanitary Train Canteen 107th Inf. Post Exchange 108th Inf. Post Exchange American Field Hospital E. S. R e e v e s —L inen R o o m “ D e r e M a b l e : - ’ Love Letters of a Rookie By E. S tr e e ter As they have appeared in The Gas Attack are now published in book form Every Letter a Long Laugh The most entertaining and laugh producing book published— “thats the book all over Mable\ 35 Clever Illustrations by Bill Breck Price 75 cents In heavy wrapper, ready for mailing 80c Postpaid in U. S. 85c, Foreign 90c. Calhoun Office Supply Co. 106 Kennedy Place Spartanburg, S. C. The New Management of the MANHATTAN RESTAURANT 119 Magnolia Street Wishes the men of Camp Wadsworth to know that un der the present management every effort will be made to furnish the best food and service obtainable at very moderate prices. Potatoes are served with out extra charge, with each order. EXCELLENT FOOD MODERATE PRICES THE MOAN OF THE REGIMENTAL REPORTER. One day several weeks ago I looked tip from my work to find the Lieutenant-Colonel standing before me. “Are you Sergeant-at- A rm s?” he asked, and I pleaded guilty, w o n d ering the while w h a t I had done now. My fear gave way to a feeling of intense pride, for the Colonel proceeded to appoint me R e g im ental R e p o rter to th e Gas A ttack. Now, like every other homo of the (m o re or less) civilized world, I have alw ays be lieved m y self possessed of a great deal of latent literary ability. Therefore, when this signal honor was th r u s t upon me, I im m e diately saw th a t the Colonel was a m an of keen discernm e n t, who could perceive the brilliancy of my m e n tal light, which, up to th a t time, had been hidden beneath the bushel of m anual labor. So, early each week, I sally forth w ith pencil and note-book (still being in the cub class, I MUST carry a note-book) in search of news and notes of general interest. On rare occasions I get one. G enerally I do not. Oh, th a t I had know n w h a t the Colonel was letting m e in for! I breeze up to the orderly-tent in R street, and say in my best journalistic air: “Wad- aya got for the Gas A ttack?” and, despite the sw arm of interesting things th a t hap pened during the previous week, he whom I am addressing suffers a lapse of m em o ry like th a t of a financier before a Senate in vestigating com m ittee. T h e n to S street, w h ere I m ake my m ission known. I am greeted w ith “SAY, w hoinnel put th a t thing in last w e e k ’s issue about m e being a dum b bell? ’A t’sall I w a n n a know, who’s respon sible? Of all the bum stuff ever wr— and so on, ad infinitum . W ishing to strike a few m o re chords on the H a rp of Life, I don’t tarry to explain th a t the objectionable para graph was w ritten during m y absence on furlough, but I exit hurriedly, feeling th a t all editors and m y self are kindred spirits. “Ah, w ell,” I muse, w h en I stop running, “ ’tw as ever thus. Since tim e began, genius has been oppressed,” and, not being as husky as the other fellow, I let it go a t that. But the w o rst feature of the job is not the lack of news, nor the abundance of abuse handed me. Not at all. It’s the constant exhibition of the desire of some honorary m em b er of the hum an race to slam his neighbor. I get it in every street, in the mess shacks, showers, clubs, everyw h ere. “Hey, put in som ething about Corporal W hozis being m ade sergeant, and the sup ply sergeant can’t find a h a t big enough to fit him ,” or “W rite a\ paragraph about So- and-so w e aring a black tie ’cause he’s dead from the neck up,” or perhaps “X Co boasts the cham p ion Bull-Artist of Am erica—Joe Style.” I’ve prided myself on having a sense of humor, but if th a t’s humor, I’m English. And I’ll bet my w ristlets th a t it cannot, by any stretch of the im agination, be called news. Any news-bound gets an insight into hum a n nature, but ten to one he’ll lose his faith in it. C. T. M.