GAS ATTACK 5 A Soldier’s Letter to His Sweetheart Dere Mable Were back from shootin at the range. We •ended up by firin at the infantry. That was w h at they was talkin about when they said there was goin to be a garage fire. Thats the arm y all over, Mable. Technickle. The fir in was a total failure, Mable. We fired at the range for three months and never hit it. That ain t surprisin cause I never see nothin except •some trees in front of the guns and we always fired over those. When they finally got wise and put some infantry out there for us to fire at we missed them absolutely. Fired ev erything in front of them. Don }t say nothin about this cause it might get into the papers and cheer up the Kizer. Its all the Captins fait. I guess he thought tie had an A unty Air K raft batery. That fello •comes from F a r Eockaway and he lives in the fast house. The last mornin we fired the lieutenant says I was batery agent. It seemed kind of silly to me to bother about sellin stuff while we was firin but thats the lieutenant. He got aw ay before I could ask him what I was to •sell. I bought a lot of pop and crackers and stuff and tried to sell em to the fellos while they was firin. The first sergent wouldnt let me. I told him I was battery agent but not him. That fello wont have to wear no steel helmut when he gets to France. I ate it all myself. If the lieutenant is goin to keep me as b a t tery agent now were back im goin to ask him if I cant rig up a little office. I wouldnt be surprised if they had me up in W ashington pretty soon. Lots of the fellos say they ought to send me somewhere. Im w ritin up to N. Y. where th e r e ’s a place where they make sofa pillos with fellos goin over the top on em and gold rings w ith your girl 7s name on em free for a dollar tw enty ($1.20). The last week on the range we lived in pup tents. A pup tent Mable is like the roof of a dog house w ithout the house. They call em pup tents cause no one but a very young dog would be fool enough to sleep under one. There made out of a couple of pieces of stuff like w h a t you make porus nit undercloths out of. You button em together if theres any buttons. I t dont make much difference as far as keepin the rain out is concerned. The only good I can see they do is to strain the rain. I guess these pup tents we got is an old is sue w h at was wished on us by the Japaneze army. When an ordinary sized fello lies down in one (and that ?s all you can do in em) hes out doors from the nees down. The M a jor came round Sunday night. I guess he made a mistake and thought it was S a tur day. Theres a rule that M ajors only come round on Saturday cause they bother the men. The major says “ I guess weel blow taps an hour early tonight cause the men is all in ” an I says back right out loud ‘(There aint anybody goin to get all in in these things, you big overgrown boob,only he happened to be away down the street and didnt hear me. I t didnt make no difference to me though. I said it anyway. High spir ited. Thats me all over, Mable. Angus McDonald, the skotch fello says that these is skotch pup tents. The skotch he says dont ever wear nothin below the nees. I guess Angus aint a pure skot though cause I heard him and Joe Loomis arguin this morn in eause Angus had swiped Joes horse blan ket to wrap round his legs. I t rained for three days before we left. You coud have squoze w ater out of my pistul, Mable. They say a fello is two thirds w a ter anyway. I bet I was 99 and ninety-nine 100 per cent pure, eh Mable I Monday mornin we hiked back to camp. They got us up so early I thought they was blowin taps. The lieutenant was awful sore. I guess a drop of w ater came through his tent somewhere during the night and lit on him. He looks at me an says “ As you were, Smith . ;J All I says was “ 111 never be again, L ieutenant.M They made me a driver the last m init on the hike comin home. I guess there breakin me in to every place sos they can let the rest of the batery home on furlow and let me do all the work, from the looks of it. They showed me two horses hitched to the gun and told me they was mine. Eight away I seen that the right hand horse was all hitched up and there wasnt nobody there to ride him. So when the sargent says he was all ready I says “ No we aint. I aint goin till the fello what rides this horse is here. Theres enough favorites bein played in the battery now . J1 BUI Bi°ee§f That showed the lieutenant where I stood. He said the fello w h at usually drove the horse was on special duty coilin up firin lines. When he put i t th a t way I agreed to lead the right hand horse in to camp. Angus says they call the right hand horse the off horse cause the fello w h at rides him is always off doin somethin else. He aint the only fello whats off round here though I can tell you that Mable. Theres a rumor round here that were goin to Honey Lulu. Joe Loomis has sent for his Ukaylaly. Angus says hes orderin a grass cutter to take with him sos he can make himself one of those grass suits over there. I guess the next time I write itll be from there. yours till then Bill SOME BOOST FROM ASHEVILLE. The Consolidated Bands gave us some concert Judson House is some singer. F rancis Sutherland is some graceful con ductor and some cornet soloist. The band members, each one of them some artist. W a n t some more, please. Best wishes, Sincerely, N. BUCKNER, Secy., Asheville Board of Trade. WE WANT SCRAPPY STORIES. This undeliverable-m agazines-for-soldiers idea is a good one, BUT—isn’t it tough when your bundle of m agazines consists of Nee dlework, th e M o thers’ Magazine, St. Nicho las, Today’s Housewife, Vogue, and McCall’s (spring fashion num b e r) ?